Unfortuntely, part of life is the fact that other people have free will - haha I joke, but still. It sucks when people you have spent your , rely and depend on, people you love... end up hurting you... it isn't a nice feeling - especially when there is betrayal involved.
So after experiencing it twice now - you know the crippling pain and urge to kill someone, I thought I would talk through what I do to calm down, because;
"Hell harth no fury like a woman scorned"
1. Cry it Out
Cause it fucking hurts. This will always be step one, ugly face crying. Nothing sexier. Now, although it is important to release all the feels, it is also important not to wallow in them. Which leads onto..
2. Get Angry
Yup, get mad. It wasn't you, it was them. You didn't do anything - they are the scum bag. Not you. Call them a wanker, it will make you feel better.
3. Rise Above it (or Play Dirty)
I wish I could say I have managed to rise above it all, but I can't - I'm a bitch when I am hurting. Just don't do anything you will regret later, think it through - and if you manage to rise above it, well done. You don't need them anyways.
4. Burn or Sell Their Shit
Goodbye Clothes, belongings. It all. Get rid of it - you don't need it, its just reminding you of when you were happy.
5. DELETE
Remove them and their friends from everything. Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, block them on Whatsapp & Delete their number. You don't need them to know what your doing - and you don't need to see what they are doing either. This obviously doesn't apply if you have kids together.. which I found out the hard way. But I would still recommend removing from social media.
6. Attempt to Move On - The Bad One Nighter
In attempt to trick yourself into "your so over him" it is essential to have sex with someone you really shouldn't have sex with, to realise that in fact you are not ready for this. My top tip for this is to not have sex with someone you are friends with. It ends BAD. Like awkward bad, choose a random on a night out. Just practice safe sex people.
7. Cry Some More
It's typically about now that the full blown "I hate my life" sets in. Self hatred and loathing included. Regret. Hate them, hate everyone, what have I done with my life etc. Totally normal, just realise its normal and get yourself over it.
8. The Resolutions
This is usually about the time I declare I am going to loose weight, and never have sex with anyone ever again. Off men, off people, start a new hobby, change your life. This is the point I am at currently... I decided mid Feb I wasn't going to have sex with anyone, so in attempt to control myself I have grown out my foo-foo hair. It's like a little fro. I also got an undercut and pierced my nipples. Cause - Why not.
9. Moving On
I found that you never truly move on from something if you have genuinely been heartbroken, it will be something you carry with you from now on, a new scar to bear. But it will become much easier, it won't hurt anymore - the general rule is it takes half the length of a relationship to get over someone, which has always worked for me, but obviously it could be more, or less. Just don't hold onto the hate, don't let it rule and control you. They are not worth ruining your life over.
10. When in doubt... wine.
It may not fix anything, but it sure does make me feel better.
I wish I could say its fine, because it isn't, it isn't good.. and no one should have to go through it, but it is part of life, and I hope you all have had a giggle at it, or it has cheered you up if you are in the same situation, I promise it will be less bad soon :)
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I absolutely love this post! Oer the past 2 years I've been fucked over more times than I can count and eventually I thought fuck it and turned into a massive hoe, I probably could have dealt with it better haha!
ReplyDeletewww.taintedblues.co.uk
I hate it when people fuck you over it's just not ok! We've all been there and we've all had that hoe phase lolllll. My friends actually going through a breakup now after her scumbag ex cheated on her.. urgh it makes my skin crawl. I'ma pass on this advice, especially the wine one hahahah.
ReplyDeleteBeckie xo // The Pale Tails
Unfortunately, it is a part of our lives and we have to deal with this too, as if we had no problems already. I had many 'friends' over the past that were involved in my life but wanted nothing but the worst for me. I showed them love and respect, they showed me jealousy and hate. I removed them from my life, social media and contacts and my life is better without them. I only need people that care and love me.
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PinkDaisyLoves
Love this post Erin! I lost my best friend a few years ago after we fell out and we haven't spoken since, but it's proven that I can continue my life and move on without her x
ReplyDeleteEverything But The Kitchen
The amount of times I've been fucked over now is a joke haha so I loved this post! Definitely relate to this. X
ReplyDeleteKate// itskaterose.com
Such a relatable post! I'm sure everyone has experienced this is some way or another. I hope you're ok!
ReplyDeletewww.amberatlanta.blogspot.co.uk
People honestly suck sometimes - I know this makes me a little petty but sooner or later, those who mess you around are going to need or want you for something and man is it joyous ignoring them ha! x
ReplyDeleteI have been her and done all this stuff haha. I always say, do what you need to do to feel better. Eeven if that is letting the tires down on your exs car ;) x
ReplyDeleteI loved this post, it was so relatable especially the get angry point!
ReplyDeleteGrace xx
http://gracexkate.blogspot.co.uk/
Wine is always the resolution!
ReplyDeleteBad day at work... wine!
Irritating male... wine!
Horrible comments... wine!
Such a good blog post and so true!
Danielle xx
http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/
Great post! I really needed this as recently I came back to a job I left which I loved the clients and I came back because I love the people I worked with even thought I didn't care for management like most people that I worked with don't like management as well and when I came back management decided they didn't want me working for them anymore after 3 months of being back. They didn't want me working for them anymore and when I ask one manager why they decided not to keep me she wouldn't tell me and asked me if I still want me shift for the following week. It's been hard trying to get over it but this post kind of helped a little bit. Thanks
ReplyDeleteLove this post! It's great to cry and cry some more and wine is always a great comfort!
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